Odd Fact #1 – September 12, 2015

The other day, I was thinking, and I thought of this fun blog.  Haha.  I was thinking about how people should be more real and not worry about what people think of them.  We should be more honest.  A lot of times we live in a lie and it is locked in a box inside us.  We should find someone that we can reveal our secrets to, for the more serious secrets.  Someone you can trust not to spill your problems to the whole world, but someone who can help you get through your problems, addictions, feelings, or your spiritual wars that go on inside.

While thinking about all this stuff, I thought of something that most of my family knows about me that I thought was interesting, odd and probably disgusting to some people.  So here it goes.  About 6 months before my wedding in August of 2008, I decided I wasn’t going to brush my teeth anymore.  Now I brush them before I go to the dentist… so twice a year.  I know most of you are thinking that is disgusting.

One day I was brushing my teeth and thought about how my dentist was watching a tooth that looked like it might be developing a cavity.  I thought this was odd, because at the time I hardly ate candy or gum and I brushed twice a day (2008).  I was trying to figure out why I might have a cavity.  I had never had a cavity before, ever.  Let me remind you I am still in 2008; not the present time.  I was 24 years old and never had cavity.

So I was thinking, it had to be the toothpaste.  So unnaturally I decided that not brushing my teeth would be the best solution.  Or is not brushing your teeth with toothpaste natural?  See, I am pretty sure in the old days and ancient times, they did not have sugary, tasty toothpaste.  Archaeologists are still finding teeth intact after thousands of years later.  So at my last dental cleaning, the dentist commented on how good my teeth look and that I must be brushing better.  Haha.  Also, that possible cavity went away!  I haven’t brushed my teeth for 7 1/2 years.  I am about to be 31 and have never had a cavity!  I chew a lot of ice!



That was Then…. This is Now – September 6, 2015

Today as I was sitting in church listening to Chaplain Brown preach, I was reminded of something.  I was reminded of April 27, 2014, the day I decided to ask for forgiveness, repent, and put my trust in God.  I realized that day that I couldn’t live the way I was living anymore.  I couldn’t live apart from God any more.  It was time for me to stop controlling my life and everyone around me to try to feel happy.  It was time to let God take control of my life.

Over the past year and a half, I have slipped and fell, bumped into a wall, stubbed my toe on a chair; but then I realized that God was still there.  He picked me up, and I kept on walking.  I fall, I get back up, fall and get back up…. Fall and get back up!  He is always there.  Now that I have accepted Jesus I my heart, I have a peace and joy in my heart that I have never had.  I am in prison, but my heart is free, thanks to Jesus who died on the cross for our sins.  To those that say “If only I was in a better living situation”, who wish they had more, who think worldly things will make them happy, for those with no hope.  There is hope in Jesus Christ.

Take up your cross and follow Him and you too can have peace and joy!

I am going to end with some powerful lyrics form a song called “That was then, this is now” by Josh Wilson:

“That was then, this is now
Bought by the blood
Saved by the Son
The Saints all Sing about”

I love you all!  May the peace of Christ be in you always!


Sergeant Suicide – August 29, 2015

Today I found out some sad news about a sergeant that works at this prison.  Thursday night he decided to take his own life.  Now I didn’t know this man well, but I will tell you that he was nice to us.  He used to be a sergeant on our unit, then he became the sergeant of the warehouse.  He was one of the officers that treated us like humans.  I saw him on Wednesday, August 26th and he found out that my package was lost.  He put in extra effort to get my package to me.  He didn’t mind going the extra mile for an inmate.  None of the inmates talked bad about him and were truly sad to find out the news.

Well, I was saddened and prayed for his soul and his family.  I also thought about the moments leading up to his suicide and imagined what God was doing.  I imagined God standing there, telling him, “Child, please don’t do this” with tears in his eyes.  When he made the choice, I imagine God weeping for He lost a beloved child.  Then I decided to meditate about this in silence and listen for God, hopefully getting an answer about his eternal destiny.  I would like to think that God gave him the choice to be with Him in Heaven.

I understand that Judas Iscariot hangs himself, because he betrayed Jesus.  A lot of people think that makes you go automatically to Hell.  I would like to think that He gives you a second chance after death, and if you choose eternal life away from God, then you die your second death.

What do you think?

My heart goes out to all the families who have lost a loved one to suicide; those people that have thought about taking their lives or have tried.  There is still hope.  There is still life in God.

God loves you no matter what.

Created to be loved – August 29, 2015

“Jesus looked at him and loved him…”   — Mark 10:21

Last night I was at choir practice and before we practice, we have a Bible study.  The Chaplain was talking about self-consumption and how as humans we all tend to be completely consumed with ourselves.  No one can deny that that is sometimes true.  We all have moments sometimes periods of time, when we are so consumed with ourselves that no one else or nothing else matters to us.  I lived 29 years being completely 100% self consumed.  Now I have bouts of self-consumption, but it doesn’t completely 100% consume me.

Well, in Mark 10:17-31, it talks about the rich man who wants eternal life.  Of course he comes to Jesus with the attitude, “What can you give to me? What can I get from you?”  He asks Jesus, “What must I do to inherit eternal life?”  Jesus proceeds to tell him that he must follow all the commandments.  The man replies “all these I have kept since I was a boy.”  And in verse 21 it starts out with “Jesus looked at him and loved him.”  Now did Jesus look at him and love him because he followed all the commandments?  I don’t think so.  Because Jesus then says “one thing you lack, go sell everything you have and give it to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven.  Then, come, follow me.”

Now I put emphasis on the part of the verse 21 that says “Jesus looked at him and loved him” because Jesus loves everyone; even if they don’t quite believe or submit themselves completely to God.  Jesus meets everyone on the road they travel.  It is up to that person to give up everything and to follow him.

I am not saying sell everything you have and live homeless. I am saying, let God consume all your thoughts and your heart.  Be submissive to God and live in His presence daily.  This is a hard thing to accomplish!  We may never fully get this until we see him face to face, but it is something to strive for.  God loves you, no matter what.

“Jesus looked at him and LOVED HIM.”