To Eddie from Mom – January 3

Dear Eddie,

In your letter, you say that you are confused/struggling with why you are where you are, what is the purpose?  I bet you do struggle with that.  Up until that phone call I received in March, your purpose and your path was so very clear.  It always amazed me, because rarely has my purpose been that clear.  I’ve struggled with which path to take and cursed “free will”.  WHY do we have free will??  Ugh.  If God would tell me what to do, I’d do it!  For Sure!  It’s the best path to take, and I’m no wimp.  I might not want to do what He asks me to do, but if I knew it was the way, I’d know for sure that God would support me and give me the tools I need to do to accomplish the task, but noooooo…. We have free will. Darn free will.

My husband says it’s because it means so much more to God if we choose to do things that honor Him, instead of Him having to tell us.  So we talked about that in church last week and I’m thinking as I type this letter.  Maybe in all things, if I just choose do things that I know would bring God praise and glory, they WOULD be the right things.  Bottom line is, Eddie…. You’re not used to this because your path has always been so clear, but Your Purpose may not be clear now or for years.  I’m good at this part–I’m used to having a “fuzzy” purpose.  This is where Faith comes in.  You have to keep going, keep your head up, keep doing the right things and keep being the person you are, and keep taking the right steps on your path.. You are doing good.  I think the hardest thing for me to deal with is, we may NEVER know our purpose.  Here’s the thing.  LIFE is one big fat journey.  We’re all so used to needing to know the answers.  In this journey we call life, the answer isn’t what we need to strive for.  It’s the journey.  How do we handle each day, each moment, each month to ensure we are praising God and bringing Him glory?  THAT’S the answer.

So you’re thinking… I live my life to glorify God…  How does that solve my problem?  How does that get me out of prison, or (for someone else) how does that get me out of debt?  How does that make my church survive?  It doesn’t.  You might be in prison for years, the church may not make it, you may always struggle with financial issues.  But trusting in the Lord, praising His name, while going through the “gulleys” of life, gets you something else:  almost immediate peace, joy, safety, and permanent salvation.  THAT is the answer.  THAT is what you have to strive for.



Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s