Today was my first Christmas in Prison. It was another day in prison. However it was special because Jesus was born. I got a few Christmas cards last week, and they were wonderful. They made me smile and cry. They were from my family. My Dad sent me a serious one and a funny one. I am sure that I will get some pictures from the celebrations after Christmas. It hasn’t been too difficult for me, because I would often go 2 years without Christmas with my Mom or Dad. It depended on the schedule and rotation. If I wasn’t there, I would always call and wish them a Merry Christmas.
My family is always in my heart and I love them very much. Would I rather have been with my family instead of in prison today? Absolutely, yes! But there is nothing I could do about it. I prayed for my family to enjoy their Christmas. To enjoy the time together and to not worry about me. It wasn’t too bad today. I will give you the details of my first Christmas in Prison.
I woke up this morning to the usual “count time” yelling and knocking at 6 a.m. I prayed to God. I first thanked him for sending His Son to us and for dying on the cross for our sins. I glorified His name, asked for forgiveness, asked God to purify my blood, heart, mind and soul. I asked the Holy Spirit into my heart, cast out demons and finally requested Him for protection of my family and I. Also for all of my family to enjoy their celebrations of the Birth of Jesus. Then we made our trek to Breakfast. We had eggs, bacon, toast and cereal. I brought a packed of cheddar squeeze cheese and some ketchup. I made a sandwich of eggs, bacon, cheese and ketchup. It was delicious! Then we came back to the pod and I watched the movie “Heaven is for Real.” It was an excellent movie. Only 3 of us watched it out of 16 guys.
Then we went to lunch, and we had a special lunch for Christmas. It was REAL Roast Beef, REAL mashed potatoes, REAL gravy, green beans, carrots and pineapple upside down cake It was ALL EXCELLENT!!! I love pineapple upside down cake. The one guy at my table didn’t want it, so I got his piece! Merry Christmas to me! Haha!
Then we came back from chow and I played some cards with this one Hispanic guy. He is a fellow Christian. He is a really cool old man. He is going to the same prison as me. I hope he can teach me some Spanish. Then we had lockdown. I have been searching and asking God what he wants me to do in here. I decided to take that hour to pray hard. I prayed to ask Him for guidance and help with my spiritual journey. I have been confused the last couple of days. When I come up with the right words to describe those confusions, I will write a separate blog post. I felt much better after I prayed.
I haven’t been myself while I have been in here. It is driving me crazy. I love people, and I like to show my caring side. I will explain in a different post, as I am still trying to figure out how to help people in here without putting myself in danger. After lockdown I played chess and didn’t win one game. Haha! However, I am learning more and more. Then we went to dinner and they were supposed to have chocolate cake with chocolate icing. The kitchen let us down and gave us an apple instead. We don’t get cake much, and it was supposed to be a treat. It was okay by me because I know me and this other inmate were going to make a “state cake”. The ingredients of the cake are:
2 jumbo Honey Buns
2 chocolate chip cookies
1 chocolate chip creme pie
So you crush the vanilla creme cookies real fine with the chocolate chip cookies and make a “dough”. You use the dough to wrap the honey buns. Then you put some peanut butter in the middle of the two Honey Buns. Sprinkle the chocolate chip creme pie crumbs in between the two already-wrapped Honey Buns. Then you stack the Honey Buns and cover the cake with peanut butter. All I have to say is “2000 calories”, but the best dang creation I have eaten! I was impressed. When I get out of here, everyone and their mothers, brothers, sisters, aunts, uncles and cousins are going to try one. It was amazing! It was 100 times better than the chocolate cake.
Then we had lockdown and I read a little of my Bible, listened to some gospel music, and then started writing this post. I didn’t finish writing this blog. When the doors opened, I played some cards with some inmates, beat some manners out of this one inmate. He reminds me of a middle school boy. He is short, bald and talks a big game. He is funny and deep down inside this 14 year old, big bad, middle school boy, there is this loving, caring person. I am trying to get it out of him. I am getting there. Today, he wanted a drink mix, and he said, “Hey, let me borrow a drink mix.” I said, “How are you going to borrow a drink mix?” He just laughed. I said, “Unless you throw it up, I am not getting it back… so no, you can’t borrow a drink mix.” He just laughed and put his headphones back in. Then 5 minutes later, we went through this again. I said, “Just ask for one.” So he said, “Hey, give me a drink mix.” I said, “Say please. I have never heard you say please.” He smile and put his headphones back in. This guy has never asked me for anything, and I feel bad for him. His family says they will send him money and they never do. He really doesn’t ask for anything. I was determined to get some manners out of this guy.
I came to my room 10 minutes before doors closed and lights out. He came to my door and said “Hey, can I please have a drink mix?” I gave him a drink mix and he said, “Thanks, man.” I hit something in him.
I hit something in him yesterday too. He was telling me to beat this guy up because he was hitting me. I looked at him in the eye and said, “You don’t have to solve everything with anger and violence.” He had a sad face, walked to his room and didn’t come out until chow. So today I wondered. Today is my evil past and my transformation the gift? The gift that I use to make a difference? I can relate to most of these inmates’ anger and violence. Even though it was a low point in my life, I believe I can use it to help people. My praying helped today.