The Community Toilet (12/14/2014)

Before I get started, I will say that I am not too much into cussing anymore.  However, this post will have a cuss word in it.  Since I have turned my life and trust in the Lord, I try not to cuss, but sometimes one word slips every once in a while.  So today was a great day and church was great and everyone has been pretty good and happy.

After lunch, we went out to the yard for “rec” (recreation) to go exercise, play pool, ping pong, walk, lift weights or just hang out. Well I like to play pool, so I started walking outside and all of a sudden, I got a bad diarrhea cramp.  I had an emergency on my hands.  So I walked back to my pod.  I couldn’t get the correction officer’s attention to let me in my pod so I could go to my room to go to the bathroom.  Some inmate stayed behind and I got the attention of one, and he said she wouldn’t open up and go back to the yard.  I was about to poop my pants.  I walked into the gym, and I stared at the community bathroom.  The community bathroom was three toilets, no door into the bathroom and no dividers between the toilets.  I had 2 choices; crap my pants or suck it up and poop in the non-private bathroom.

Well, considering the outfit I had on was the only somewhat clean outfit I had, I chose to use the toilet.  They only give you 3 sets of clothes.  I sat down on the toilet closest to the wall.  You have to be looking pretty hard to see someone on that toilet.  It was awful.  So as I was cleaning up my rear end, the one female correctional officer that likes me, walks in to wash her hands.  She goes “I am so sorry, Smith!”  Please excuse me!”  Then she walked out, and said I had never seen a white man on the toilet before!  She is Hispanic.  Well one of the guys on my pod saw this happen.  He thought it was the funniest thing.  We laughed until we were crying.  We came back from rec, and we were waiting to be let into our pod.  He looks at me and says “That was funny as shit.”  and I said, “No pun intended?”  Then we busted out laughing hysterically.

Then we were telling everyone and the whole pod thought it was funny.  Then I found out the guy misunderstood me and thought I was asking if he was coming to rec.  I told him the story, and he was like “Dang!  I would have had her let you in!  Why didn’t you knock on the window?”  and I said, “She told us not to knock on the window!”  He was like “Man!” and started laughing.

Then the guys were like “Don’t use the bathroom in the gym anymore.  It is not clean.”  I said, “I know!”  I wasn’t planning on using it, but it was an emergency.  I know I won’t hear the end of that one for a while  It felt so good to be able to laugh with some guys.  Like I have said, everyone has good qualities in them.  These guys aren’t too bad.

Love,

Eddie

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