The Community Toilet (12/14/2014)

Before I get started, I will say that I am not too much into cussing anymore.  However, this post will have a cuss word in it.  Since I have turned my life and trust in the Lord, I try not to cuss, but sometimes one word slips every once in a while.  So today was a great day and church was great and everyone has been pretty good and happy.

After lunch, we went out to the yard for “rec” (recreation) to go exercise, play pool, ping pong, walk, lift weights or just hang out. Well I like to play pool, so I started walking outside and all of a sudden, I got a bad diarrhea cramp.  I had an emergency on my hands.  So I walked back to my pod.  I couldn’t get the correction officer’s attention to let me in my pod so I could go to my room to go to the bathroom.  Some inmate stayed behind and I got the attention of one, and he said she wouldn’t open up and go back to the yard.  I was about to poop my pants.  I walked into the gym, and I stared at the community bathroom.  The community bathroom was three toilets, no door into the bathroom and no dividers between the toilets.  I had 2 choices; crap my pants or suck it up and poop in the non-private bathroom.

Well, considering the outfit I had on was the only somewhat clean outfit I had, I chose to use the toilet.  They only give you 3 sets of clothes.  I sat down on the toilet closest to the wall.  You have to be looking pretty hard to see someone on that toilet.  It was awful.  So as I was cleaning up my rear end, the one female correctional officer that likes me, walks in to wash her hands.  She goes “I am so sorry, Smith!”  Please excuse me!”  Then she walked out, and said I had never seen a white man on the toilet before!  She is Hispanic.  Well one of the guys on my pod saw this happen.  He thought it was the funniest thing.  We laughed until we were crying.  We came back from rec, and we were waiting to be let into our pod.  He looks at me and says “That was funny as shit.”  and I said, “No pun intended?”  Then we busted out laughing hysterically.

Then we were telling everyone and the whole pod thought it was funny.  Then I found out the guy misunderstood me and thought I was asking if he was coming to rec.  I told him the story, and he was like “Dang!  I would have had her let you in!  Why didn’t you knock on the window?”  and I said, “She told us not to knock on the window!”  He was like “Man!” and started laughing.

Then the guys were like “Don’t use the bathroom in the gym anymore.  It is not clean.”  I said, “I know!”  I wasn’t planning on using it, but it was an emergency.  I know I won’t hear the end of that one for a while  It felt so good to be able to laugh with some guys.  Like I have said, everyone has good qualities in them.  These guys aren’t too bad.

Love,

Eddie

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My First Month in Prison (12/13/2014)

As of December 13, 2014, I have been in Central Prison for 12 days.  I am in the processing unit of the prison.  Since the last post, a lot has happened.  This one guy got sent to “the hole” for 45 days.  They realized he had 45 days backlogged.  We gained two new guys in our unit and no one has shipped out.

As the days have gone by, I have been growing stronger in my faith.  I have been growing stronger in prayer and the way I present myself.  I have put my full trust in God.  It is hard to do, because I have faced things or seen things I have never been exposed to.  Everyone talks about their crimes.  Some of them seem proud of what they did.  I don’t think anyone in here should be proud of what they did.  We all did something bad.  I don’t judge people and I try to see the good in everyone.  There are some great guys in here that messed up.  There are great guys in here that keep messing up, because they don’t know different.  I have been harassed a lot by some of the inmates because of my weight.  Some want to help me lose weight and some are just bullies.  Then there is this one guy who has been all up in my business, asking me why I am here, getting close to me and just overly annoying.

I have found that most of the guys are immature and disrespectful towards women.  They are constantly hitting on the female correctional officers, looking at porn or talking about women in inappropriate ways.  I am not going to lie, I used to be like that before I started discovering myself and realizing that women and ALL people are valuable.  Women are priceless and made in God’s image.  I have run into some inmates thinking I am gay, because I don’t disrespect women.  There are a few men in here that are bullies and will bully anyone.  Also when I go to eat lunch or dinner sometimes I don’t know wha tI am eating.  Veggies, I know what they are.  But meat is a little questionable.  Other than those things, things are going well.  I kind of keep to myself, talk to those who I feel comfortable talking to, read my Bible and other books. I read my bible about 3-4 hours a day and pray about 5-6 times a day.  Right now I am reading the book “The Prayerful Spirit”, which tells you how to pray.  It is an excellent book.  I have also read the book “Overcoming Spiritual Blindness”.  It is also a very good book.

Keep following my blog.  Find out more and walk with me through my 16 year journey in prison.

Love, Eddie

My First 51 hours in Jail (12/4/2014)

Eddie is in prison for a crime he did not commit.  He was a law-abiding citizen until a minor (I’m talking 15-16 yr old) claimed he did inappropriate things with her. We are talking about a sexually active minor who sleeps around and does drugs. Eddie tried to rescue her. Rescue attempt fail.  In addition to an ineffective attorney and a new DA out to prove he is tough on crime, ended up with Eddie getting a 16-19 year “plea deal” with no chance of parole.  The lawyer, unprompted, told Eddie’s family as he was making him sign the plea deal, that “I sleep well at night.”  We all have a higher power to answer to, is my response to that.  I am Eddie’s Mother.  I am angry.  Eddie is not angry.  He views this sentence as a path that God has given him.  He is writing me letters and I am publishing them.  He wants to be able to help other people who are going to jail for the first time. I am hoping that his letters help family members in my situation too. I cry every day. My stomach hurts every day.  I wake up crying from the nightmares.  Eddie’s letters are the thread of hope that I hang onto.  Here is his first letter.

My First 51 Hours in Jail/Prison

The first night in jail was painful, because I had nothing to do.  I was locked up in a cell with nothing to do.  The other guy on my block gave me a bible to read.  It was the King James Version and difficult to understand.  I had nothing to do and was locked in my cell for 23 hours a day.  Then I was shipped to a close security prison for processing.

I was so nervous but then the nurse in the full size hospital said it wasn’t that bad and people don’t want to leave.  I got through the medical exam then got to my pod.  There were about 14 other guys in it.  They were all watching TV and playing cards.  I sat down and started talking to a guy who was reading his bible.  Then another guy sat down and joined us.  We talked about how we are all sinners and we need to try out best not to sin and follow Him 100%.  It was awesome. Then we went to bed and woke up for breakfast.  Breakfast was eggs, 2 biscuits, watery, tasteless grits and molasses. Then we went to the diagnostic process.  This process will take about 2 – 6 weeks.  Then I will be shipped off to another prison.

Then we went to lunch and had spaghetti, salad, mixed veggies, garlic bread and chocolate cake.  It was a very good meal.  Then we came back to our pod and watched a movie and Jerry Springer (at the same time).  Yes, there are two TV’s. The volume is up on one and muted with captions on the other.  I have never watched two shows at once.  It is kind of challenging.  Now we are locked in our cell for about an hour and a half to relax, read, nap, write, or whatever you want to do.  I went to canteen and got some snacks and a radio to listen to my Christian music on HIS Radio.  Then we will go to dinner and hang out for the rest of the evening.

Don’t worry, Mom.  I’m okay.  I love you.

Love, Eddie